Here's a little write-up for the ones who are afraid to travel solo, for those who just need a little push and for anyone who wants to read.
Truth be told – I booked my flights to Ireland out of spite because my plans to Croatia got messed up and I was really looking forward to travelling that weekend. My first solo trip was really tame. 5 days in Ireland - a country where English is main language and where I went on day trips for the majority of my stay.
Yet, I fell in love. I fell in love with the freedom, not having accommodate to anyone for once, doing whatever I feel like doing. I love that I actually learn more when I was by myself – how to strike conversations with strangers, how to navigate around without data, how to be present, how to appreciate my destinations, and how my comfort zone kept expanding.
From that trip onwards, I simply craved travelling alone. My next solo trip was one where I had crammed 6 countries and numerous cities in 18 days right after a week’s road trip with friends in Iceland. My travel bug didn’t stop as my graduation trip was a 35 days adventure in Balkans, travelling through 8 countries only via bus, shuttles and trains. I just missed the peace, the quiet, the alone time. And most of all, I really, really want to feel temporary in a crowd of foreignness, a mass of beating hearts that I do not know.
“To awaken quite alone in a strange town is one of the pleasantest sensations in the world.” – Freya Stark
Most of my friends thought I was insane. Mostly because of the safety aspects as a solo female traveller. "Don't get raped. Don't get kidnapped. Don't get robbed." And the minority worried about my sanity after being alone for a couple of weeks. Other asked me how I did it and where did this braveness come from. So I’ve put together some tips I felt worked for me (and my anxiety).
Survival Tips:
#1 Research
First of all, read up! I always like to feel prepared and would research on any dress code should I adhere to in a particular country, if there are any holidays when I am there, the opening hours of stores in general, safety tips for female travellers and main attractions to visit. Look up for free activities, festivals and free walking tours to fill up your itinerary. I simply enjoy going to quirky places of interest and Atlas Obscura provides curious locations for one to explore. Picking up some basic phrases such as “thank you”, “hi”, “where is…” and “how much is this” also goes a long way.
#2 Offline Downloads
In case of a lack of mobile data and Wi-Fi, offline download everything. Download on gmaps the area you are travelling to or use offline maps (maps.me is great). Translations of the local languages (Google Translate) are good to have, and take screen shots of your accommodations. I like to pin attractions, cafés, my accommodations and the main bus/train stations on my maps so that I can easily access the locations. For those anxious souls - save emergency numbers, taxi companies contact details and the mobile number of your accommodation/hosts. There was an instance when I had no data in Macedonia and had to borrow a stranger’s phone to call my Airbnb host.
#3 Stay in a hostel
Reasons why I recommend hostels are simple. Hostels are usually located downtown and near tourist attractions where it is highly convenient to travel around. They are obviously cheaper than other accommodation options. Staff there are more than willing to teach local phrases and provide recommendations on areas of interest, local grub and transport. Better yet, they often have hostel tours that are affordable or even free events, such as food tour or pub crawl. And of course, it is so much easier for you to meet new people. Even if you are not staying in a dormitory room, you still have a chance to meet fellow travellers during breakfast or when you are lounging in the common area. My personal favourite is a private single room in a hostel, where I get enough privacy yet enjoy the social aspect too. Bonus aspect - you get to stay in cool, themed hostel like SubSpace Hostel in Zagreb, where I was tempted to stay in because I was so in love with the capsule! The Dorm, Osaka is also one of my favourites - with amazing amenities and a nice library to lounge around.
#4 Go on a tour
If you're afraid of travelling completely solo or afraid of being alone the whole time, take day trips with tour agencies or walking tours. My first solo trip to Ireland included a couple of day tours. It will ease the initial solo travelling nerves and you will meet new people as well. Travelling with friends or family removes that opportunity to a certain extent. Often you would tend to focus on the people you're with instead of the people around you. Getting to meet different people from all over is so much easier (and forced, cus you got no one to sit next to or talk to) when you are alone on a tour. I had the most fun on my day trips in Slovenia where I've met one of the nicest group of people ever.
#5 Be shameless and just ask for help
One of my key tips! Be shameless. Europe, for one, is not as dangerous as how it has been painted. People are a lot more helpful and giving than you expect. If you have no idea how to get to a place or where you are, just ask someone. They will help. Even if they can't speak English, "sign language" (aka charades lol) and a lot of pointing will give you the answer you need. (One tip though, the number "1" might be a thumbs up instead of an index finger. Learnt it the hard way...) And even if it's a "stupid" question, whatever. Look at it this way, they can judge you for that few seconds but you guys are most probably never going to cross paths again or are just going to forget about this moment. Oh but please know your boundaries and be respectful. Don't lose your manners and be considerate to locals and backpackers alike. Still don't get how people think it’s okay to have a one night stand or something in their shared hostel rooms??!?
Be shameless if you want to have that Instagram shot as well. Many are afraid that their cameras or phones will be kidnapped in front of them. Honestly unless you're really unlucky, that doesn't really happen. If you want to be on the safe side, aim for other travellers. There's an unwritten code that backpackers help other backpackers, including taking pictures. Position the camera the way you want it to be and pray they don't move the camera. I even got locals to take photos of me on a train (they must have been judging me so hard). Most of the times, I have encountered others asking me to help them take a picture and then offering to help me take one as well. Success rate of decent pictures: 80%. OR, use nature as a prop. Balance your camera or phone on rocks, ledge and turn on that self timer/video mode. I prefer the latter as it gives me more option to screenshot the frames I like to post on social media relative to the former where you will shuttle from the phone to the spot to stand. This method works best in area with minimal human traffic. Alternatively, just invest in a selfie stick.
#6 Bring something to kill time
When travelling alone, because you are not chatting with people, you would finish your meal or activities relatively quicker than with company. I found that I have a lot of free time especially in between meals. Thus, I started bringing around a Kindle to read, downloaded Netflix shows to watch and even started a travel journal to pen down my thoughts. I would just sit in a park or a café and just chill.
#7 Be observant
We are heavily sheltered in Singapore and there is a strong need to be vigilant. Generally, always pay attention. It would be great if you know self-defence for worse case scenarios. If not, know your escapes in every situation. Being a solo female traveller puts one somewhat at a disadvantage. Couples and groups have safety in numbers. The gender issue is self-explanatory. There's the "Europe is more dangerous than Asia" kind of stereotype as well. And also, let's boil down to the number one fear for females - rape. But it shouldn't stop anyone from travelling solo. It just means that you have to take extra precaution and be a little more vigilant when travelling. Also, for females, we have great intuition (most of the time) and gut instincts. So use them. But don't do outright foolish things like get yourself dead-drunk in a foreign place or go to dodgy areas at night or stand at the edge of a cliff on a rainy day (cus seriously no one will know if you die).
Be observant not just for the safety aspect, but keeping an eye of out how the locals interact with each other, how they go along in their daily lives is helpful when travelling. I picked up behaviours and phrases from just looking at how people order in restaurants, how they board the bus/train and how locals cross the road. You would think the latter should be idiot proof as long as you don’t jay-walk. I wish. Countries like Myanmar, Vietnam and Albania, where the pedestrians do not have the right of way, it would be great to mimic how the locals just stride confidently across the roads when cars are literally brushing past them.
#8 Manage expectations
Being a Singaporean really set my standards for various things; efficiency, attitudes and cleanliness. Always remember to manage your expectations in a foreign country. Be more open minded to local mindsets and culture, and adjust your expectations accordingly. Embracing differences and being accustomed to change is how you’ll grow. Same goes to people that you talk to. Sometimes Lady Luck is on your side, you meet the most exciting and lovely people. Some days, you somehow encounter someone who just doesn’t feel like talking or is on a completely different wavelength. Move on.
#9 Do things alone, and love it
As for others fearing loneliness, travelling by myself for weeks didn't drive me insane. I've went on rides alone, been to thermal springs by myself, hike and so much more. And that only added to my love of being alone. I had all the flexibility and freedom I could ever dream of in the world. I could choose where I want to travel. What attractions I want to see. What time I want to get up or sleep. Where I want to eat. (Tbh no one cares if you eat alone and you're not gonna see anyone again so don't let that stop you.) I could spend hours in museums and bookstores without the worry of taking up someone's time. I didn't have the pressure of pleasing anyone or the fear of an argument happening. I had many self-reflection days, treat myself days and, basically, revitalising me-time. Even my mum commented that I have a post-travel glow after coming home from a solo adventure.
#10 Know yourself
Know your limits. If you don't feel like doing something, don't do it. If you don't feel like talking, don't. If you are sick, hit up a pharmacy, inform your loved ones and just stay in your accommodation. I had to rest in my Airbnb for 2 whole days in Cluj after running a high fever coupled with food poisoning.
Most importantly, don’t fret if solo travel is not for you. To enjoy travelling alone is not a universal thing. Some people hated not having to share experiences with someone, some hated being alone and lost in foreignness, and some just take a longer time to embrace the concept. Giving solo travel a shot is brave enough, you don’t have to stick through it because of pride or any other egoistic reasons. If you don’t like it, fair enough. You tried it and it’s not your cup of tea but at least you took that first step to understand yourself better.
Yes, solo travelling is tough. You don't have anyone to rely on if shit happens. It is frightening with all the uncertainties. But it will be one of the most (if not the most) liberating and rewarding experience you can ever have. Memories will be etched a bit deeper than the rest. It is in these moments when you sit down to take in the beauty in front of you, you will give yourself the privilege of slowing down in this hectic world. You'll realise that you are much more open to new perspectives and values. You'll find out that you are capable of trusting yourself and your decisions. You'll learn the power of letting things be; to let go of the bad choices, accept the outcomes and move on. You'll feel more empowered and confident standing on your own two feet, in your own solace. Your core will be strengthened because you trust yourself with you more.
Solo travelling isn't just you getting to know the world by yourself. It's also finding and knowing yourself.
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